When there is family and domestic violence in your family

If you are facing family and domestic violence, you need help. Maybe someone you know is experiencing it, and you want to know how to help. 

The Victoria Women’s Transition House is a great place to start.  You can reach them at this link: http://www.transitionhouse.net/

What Is Family and Domestic Violence?

The Family Law Act of British Columbia defines Family Violence as; physical abuse of a family member, including forced confinement or deprivation of the necessities of life, but not including the use of reasonable force to protect oneself or others from harm, sexual abuse of a family member, attempts to physically or sexually abuse a family member.

It also includes the the psychological or emotional abuse of a family member, including intimidation, harassment, coercion or threats, including threats respecting other persons, pets or property, unreasonable restrictions on, or prevention of, a family member's financial or personal autonomy, stalking or following of the family member, and intentional damage to property.

In the case of children, family violence includes the direct or indirect exposure to family violence.  

In essence, domestic violence can be defined to include any violence in the home but is most often between intimate partners. It can also include violence directed towards children in the home. One thing we know for sure is that even if violence inflicted directly upon children, the results are virtually the same if a child witnesses violence in the home.

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Who is Affected by Family and Domestic Violence?

Family violence affects everyone in the home. It includes the spouses themselves, the children, and any other members of the household such as grandparents. 

What Role Does Alcohol or Drugs Play in Family and Domestic Violence? 

Drugs or alcohol do not cause someone to abuse another. At the same time, it is true that use and abuse of drugs or alcohol often will lead someone not to be able to control their impulses appropriately. 

Abuse of alcohol and drugs can increase the likelihood of abuse happening. 

What are the Indicators that There is Family and Domestic Violence in Your Home?

One of the best ways to avoid family and domestic violence is to be aware of the danger signs of a partner being potentially abusive early on in a relationship. It is best to get out early if you see some of the tell-tale signs. 

At the same time, for many, they are well into the relationship before they realize that their spouse is abusive. 

It is very common for people to find themselves in abusive relationships without even realizing it is happening. The thing is that abuse tends to escalate over time and does not happen all at once. 

It is common to overlook abuse, particularly at the beginning of a relationship. 

Abuse can often be ignored or denied, especially when it is psychological by nature (it is often way more challenging to deny the presence of a black eye than the presence of psychological abuse). 

Noticing and acknowledging the signs of an abusive relationship is the first step to ending it. If you are early into the relationship, it is a sure sign to get out. 

A way to determine if someone is abusive or may end up being abusive is if you answer “yes” to some of the questions below: 

  • Is your partner jealous of you spending time with your friends or family?
  • Does your partner discourage you from having meaningful relationships with others?
  • Is your partner jealous of the attention you receive from others?
  • Does your partner act like you belong to them in that they are very possessive?
  • Do you feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
  • Do you avoid certain topics to avoid angering your partner?
  • Do you feel you can’t do anything right for your partner?
  • Has your partner ever destroyed any of your belongings?
  • Has your partner ever forced you to have sex?
  • Does your partner constantly check up on you?
  • Does our partner limit your access to your phone, your car, or money?
  • Does your partner threaten to take your children away or threaten to harm them?
  • Does your partner threaten to hurt or kill you?
  • Does your partner have a bad or unpredictable temper?
  • Does your partner control where you go or what you do?
  • Does your partner blame you for your abusive behavior?
  • Does your partner ignore or put down your opinion or accomplishments?

If you have answered yes to any of the above-noted questions, we strongly feel that you should speak to a professional who may be able to assist you.

You may just need to take the step to walk out the door. If you feel trapped and don't find leaving possible, you may want to turn to some of these resources which exist to help you.




Hemminger Law Group Westshore can help:

If you or someone you know is suffering from family and domestic violence perhaps one of our lawyers can help. The lawyers on the Hemminger Law Group Westshore team are trained to take into account matters of family and domestic violence and how that affects their partners and children.

Our legal team is trained in obtaining orders on quick notice that are put in place to protect parents and their children.

If you have a legal matter on this or any other topic that you would like to discuss with a lawyer, please contact us for a consultation.

by Val Hemminger, the long-suffering law boss at Hemminger Law Group Westshore.

Hemminger Law Group Westshore - Lawyers with heart! Providing Family law and Personal Injury law services to the Westshore and beyond (Langford, Westshore, Colwood, View Royal, Sooke, and Victoria)!